Time For Resurrection

It's been several years since I've posted here.  Three young kids, full-time job, big extended family with lots of events and commitments. It all gets in the way. But it's time to take something back for myself. My love of the written word, my desire to express myself, my willingness to share some thoughts, observations, and unsolicited advice in the hopes of helping others navigate the waters I've traveled but that they have yet to explore.

I'm the same person inside I've always been, for as long as I can remember having thoughts. It's incredible to me that from the outside, it all looks different. I wonder if anyone else feels that way, too?  Because I also remember looking at responsible, accomplished adults when I was much younger and thinking they MUST know what they're doing. Especially when I was first starting out at something, anything.  A new sport, a new activity, a new professional, a new parent.  There's always someone who likes like they have it all figured out. So from the outside,if now I'm an "accomplished, responsible adult" too, and half (if not more) of the time I'm winging it...isn't everyone?  That thought is astounding.

Last night, I had to take one of my three daughters to the ER. She was having unexplained stomach pain, and a trip to her pediatrician yielded a recommendation for some more tests.  So off we went...and 5 hours later, (with still no answers on the pain, btw) we were walking aimlessly through the parking garage in search of our car. No luck. We were walking around and around in a Twilight Zonian daze, me determined to keep walking the floors until we found the car, until my level-headed 10-year-old looked at me and said, "Maybe we should go ask someone for help?"  It was midnight.  80+ degrees and humid.  And that thought had never occurred to me.  But she was right. We asked for help; we found the car. So who's the "accomplished, responsible adult" now?  

The moral of this one...we are all still 10 inside. We still need hugs and encouragement and understanding and appreciation.  And we have just as much to offer now as we did back then, however long ago it was.  We're all capable at any age of making a contribution.  Even when we're winging it. 

So the next time you look at someone and think they have it all figured out, remember this. They definitely don't. And you don't, either. And that's OK.

XO

(translation from my messy handwriting on a napkin :)

Today the sun is shining bright
But the air feels really cold
To see the jackets is quite a sight
With colors pretty and bold
We hope the days get warmer soon
So no jackets are the way
No bundling up like a furry raccoon
And you can play in the sun all day!

Notes in the lunchbox

When I was a kid, I always envied the other kids whose Mommies would put a hand-written note on the napkin in their lunchbox. I'm not sure if this happened often or if I only saw it once or twice, but it took on great importance in my mind. So much so that I once wrote my own note to myself, trying to pass it off as from my Mom. When I opened my lunch that day, I found a real note from my mom, who must have seen my version and felt horrible that I would have felt the need to do such a thing. I was delighted and also embarrassed, for obvious reasons. I share this story not for you to feel sorry for me (but it's OK if you want to 'cause clearly I need a lot of attention) but to point out one of the things that my own childhood experience has brought to the rearing of my own children. Because ever since I have started packing a lunch for my oldest daughter (OK, or since the au pair started packing a lunch for her) I have been including a hand-written note for her on her napkin every day. I know she likes it, but I'm sure it's more important to me than her. It's hard to come up with something original every day...so I've started writing her poems, which might be fun to post here for others to enjoy, and for her to look at later in life.